9 Helpful Ways to Deal with Aggressive Behaviour in Seniors

An older woman gestures towards an older man seated on a couch, highlighting a moment of interaction between them.

Supporting an aging loved one who has become aggressive can be an emotional and physical drain on family caregivers. You want to provide the best care possible, but you worry about your loved ones’ safety (and your safety as well).

There are many reasons why older adults appear emotional or aggressive. Their lives are going through many changes as they age and their health deteriorates. They lose loved ones and friends, and their day-to-day lives change as their physical or mental ability to perform once-easy tasks becomes difficult.

They may also show aggression due to:

What does aggression in seniors look like?

If your loved one shows regular signs of aggression, it’s important to deal with it responsibly and safely.  

Aggression can be mild or severe, but here are a few examples of aggression in seniors: 

  • They cause a tantrum when being given medications.
  • They may physically push away new people they’re unsure of.
  • They may yell at caregivers trying to help them in the bathroom.
  • They may pace and stomp around the house when agitated. 
  • They may be comparative when someone offers to assist them. 
  • They may get sensitive about spending money.

If you’re in a position with an aggressive senior, keep these tips in mind:

1. Stay calm

How you react to the situation can decrease or increase the senior’s aggression. Your words and actions can influence your loved one’s emotions. Staying calm can help de-escalate the situation before it becomes dangerous. 

2. Identify the trigger

Identify what triggers the emotional outbursts so you can circumvent them in the future. Aggression usually has an underlying cause, and if you can identify that cause, you can take steps to avoid it or use other strategies to mitigate their anger. 

Common triggers may include:

  • Hunger
  • Pain
  • Visits from specific people
  • Everyday tasks that they need to perform differently (or not at all)
  • Taking medication
  • Certain times of the day
  • Leaving the house
  • Taking medicine they don’t think they need
  • Embarrassment over their lifestyle or ability

3. Use distraction techniques

When the trigger can be avoided, try a distraction technique. For example, if your loved one shows aggression when their friends leave to play golf (a game your loved ones can’t physically play anymore), plan another activity elsewhere so they don’t see their friends preparing for a game. 

If the trigger can’t be avoided (such as when taking their medicine), try playing their favourite music or watching their favourite show on TV during the trigger to distract them. 

4. Establish a routine

Many triggers of seniors’ aggressions are related to routine changes. These changes can cause them anxiety and confusion, which could trigger aggressive behaviour. 

By establishing a routine that includes tasks that trigger them, you can significantly reduce the likelihood of aggression. Over time, the tasks will become routine and less likely to trigger aggression, leading to a more peaceful environment for your senior loved one.   

5. Ensure they’re comfortable

Physical discomfort or pain can cause aggression in seniors. If they’re suffering from chronic pain or injury or are just feeling uncomfortable in general, it can cause them to feel agitated and trigger aggressive behaviour. 

Ensure they’re physically and mentally comfortable by:

  • Checking if they’re hungry or thirsty
  • Ask if they need to use the bathroom
  • Check in regularly to ensure medications (especially pain medication) are working effectively
  • Take them for regular doctor’s visits to ensure their health and wellness

6. Validate their feelings

We all want to be heard when we’re in distress or pain. Seniors may often lash out because they feel ignored or misunderstood. 

If they express feelings of frustration or anger, acknowledge them and reassure them that it’s okay to feel that way. Speak calmly and offer to help them find a solution or understand what’s happening. 

7. Minimize environmental stress

Overstimulation can cause anyone to feel stressed. New environments can also trigger outbursts of aggression. You can help manage aggression by keeping their environment clean and clutter-free. Reduce noise and any unnecessary changes. 

If bigger environmental changes are necessary (such as moving into a care home or bringing in respite care support), remember to change gradually. This approach allows you to assess your senior loved one’s mental wellness, ensuring they’re comfortable and reassured throughout the process. 

8. Be a good communicator

Remember that clear communication is a powerful tool when communicating with a senior prone to aggressive or violent behaviour. Good communication can help you avoid misunderstandings and frustration, giving you the confidence to handle any situation. 

For example,  instead of asking, “Are you ready to eat lunch now?” ask them about the specific foods they’d like to eat that day. This way, they won’t get upset if you make the “wrong” food. 

9. Seek respite care or professional caregiving

It can be helpful to bring in a professional to help you and your elderly loved one manage agitation. They may have other coping and management techniques you can try. 

You can also discuss any changes in behaviour (including increased anger or aggression) with their doctor or healthcare provider for additional support and advice. 

How to deal with aggression scenarios 

Here are a few common scenarios that trigger aggression in seniors and how you can address them:

  • If they get upset when you try to throw something away, or show hoarding behaviours, start with small items or items that are a tripping or fire hazard. 
  • If they are showing resistance to hiring a caregiver, consider occasional or part-time help to ease them into having someone new in their home. 
  • If they refuse to leave the house for adult day care, consider hiring respite caregivers to spend time with them in their homes.  
  • If they’re too frugal or too liberal with their money, consider helping them set a budget to manage their cash better.
  • Refusing to let friends and family come to visit – Look for the reason why and address it (it may be they’re embarrassed they can’t take care of their home anymore or they worry about the stress of “entertaining”)

How to get support and respite care for seniors

One of the best things you can do is be understanding and sensitive to your loved one’s needs and emotions. Be there for them positively, and remember that you don’t have to support them alone. 

A professional caregiver in an adult day centre or your home can provide regular or respite care for your loved one. At Hero Home Care, our heroes are ready to support your loved ones’ simple to complex care and emotional needs, including helping you manage aggression in seniors. 

Contact us for a free in-home care consult today to learn how we can help your loved one live safely at home on their terms.